this is for you

since i know you will be reading this soon:

thank you for always putting up with my petty annoyances, my violence and me being so “possesive”. in this friendship you suffered more than you have enjoyed and i’m sorry but you really were the bestest friend i had and i was afraid to lose you to someone else. but it was too much for you, my bad. i caused you so much vexation and hurt these couple of years and i know no amount of sorrys or gifts or whatever i can offer you will account for what i put you through.

pardon my previous post but i was really pissed. now that i have calmed down and my mind is sane again, i would say this to you: i meant every word in that post. (except maybe the profanities) 

i may have called you pretentious and all but in essence my personality will never be half as pleasant as yours. now i know why i’ve always been the hated one and that you have always been the “great girl who sticks by the bitch.”

i’m not going to make you sound like it’s entirely your fault and that you never meant anything to me in our 4 years of friendship; you did. you meant everything in my secondary school life. maybe too much.

i’m entering college and you’re entering a polytechnic, this marks the start of another phase of our lives, without each other =) i believe everything happens for a reason. me not wanting to go to the red camp with you in the first place, you inevitably getting close to other people, me being angry, you getting pissed, you tweeting your actual thoughts - those led to the decline of our best-friend-relationship. 

so, without further ado, i want to tell you that i will always love and remember you cheryl! i really will. if our friendship was really meant to be, all those events wouldn’t have happened. if it is meant to last forever, something else will happen in the future that will bring us back together again. time will tell then